“Is this me …or else…?”

I.N.F.P (the dreamer)

Performed at: Riley Theatre Leeds, Chapter Arts Centre, Liverpool Bluecoats Theatre.

I search amidst the wreckage of a dance, for something, someone- in a self-defective moment resorting to a Jungian personality test, for some concrete piece of myself. Back and forth, it’s always the same- I keep changing, becoming lost, a familiar, forgetful, self-undoing motion.

“A loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness, focus on fantasies, acts without planning, emotionally moody, can feel defective, prone to lateness, frequently losing things, prone to sadness, prone to dreaming about a rescuer, observer, easily can sabotage self, likes the rain, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic”

It’s hardly surprising… I see a dead cat in the grass, beneath the cherry blossoms, I’m not a cat lover- although sometimes I am a cat- it could have been me, paws to the pink blue sunshine ceiling. A man passes by in beige flannel suit; I am touched by his peculiar walk. Walking up the hill with my bicycle undoing the zipper on my coat. I can’t stop thinking till I begin to laugh at my ridiculousness.